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[18 Aug 2009|07:58pm] |
I get to have my haircut at 9am tomorrow morning. Good deal. My hair hasn't been cut since February. Except for little things I did myself.
The past weeks have been fun. Mostly parties and watching curb with the boy.
SG party ended up going well. Jody, Tom, and I went and I think they had a good time. Taco was nice enough to put out a $100 gift certificate to be raffled off. Not many people noticed who I was and that's okay. I don't do well with attention anyway. I like going to the events and parties but I don't see any new sets in the future. It's been a year and half since I shot. I'm waiting to see the pictures. The only ones out now have a couple with the boys head in the back round but that's about it.
I got a free zippo from the marlboro man, and free no. 9's from the camel man. I don't really like no. 9's so I haven't been smoking as much. But free things are nice.
In October Jody and I are going to see Sufjan Stevens in Brooklyn. I'm super excited for the show and I'm super excited to see Hooley. I want to go see her before October, I'll try to save some funds. Little trips are the best.
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[24 Jul 2009|07:50pm] |
I'm in a book, called the new american pin up. I think some other girls from around here are in it too. So if you're in barnes and noble check it out. I gave a bull shit interview that says I like competitive water sports. I honestly have no idea what competitive water sports are, but they took it seriously and called me athletic. Just me being lame.
I'm way too broke right now.
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[23 Jul 2009|03:53pm] |
god damn do I want pancakes.
5 more pounds I'll be eating pancakes. Ohhh I can't wait.
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[21 Jul 2009|06:34pm] |
I'm super bored at work. Update hooray!
I've been with the boy for a little over three months and everything is good deal. I'm still head over heels for him, and that's really scary, but I'm okay with it.
I've been dieting for about four days. Lots of grilled chicken and lots of vegetables. I'm missing cheese but I can do without it for now. I've still been drinking beer, but I'm not worried too much about it. I rather not be a puke princess. The boy has a pair of levis that I want to fit into.
The summer hasn't been hot, which I like. I went to the beech twice. The one time I went with hoolz and turned into a baked ham. I went last weekend with Jody, Tom, and Lauren. No baked ham syndrome. Some creepy lady tickled my boy.
I went to hooley's party.
Work is going well. I may move out, and will need to pick up a second job. However everything is so up in the air. I want to pierce. Maybe it could happen.
I'm a sleepyhead
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[28 Jun 2009|12:29pm] |
I find myself getting upset over things that have not happened or may never happen. It's lame.
Last night I had the worst headache ever. Also lame.
I've been having a blast from the past weekend with music. Right now I'm listening to little league. This guys voice can get so bad.
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[24 Jun 2009|12:00pm] |
I saw a picture of myself from wizard world, and I actually shed a tear on how bad I looked. I don't know what happened.
I need my hair fixed but I told myself I'd never cut my hair again.
I lost the 5 pounds I gained from when Jody and I started kissing. Speaking of which things with him are good.
I'm being too vain.
So like I said I was at wizard world working last Saturday. Mmm fake smiles.
I miss my best friend.
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[09 Jun 2009|06:38pm] |
I sure do hate the taste of vodka.
I now have a scabbed up elliott smith tattoo
My arm got a bit swollen and it looked like I was about to have an arm baby. It will look awesome when it heels. However I'm posting it now because, well one I have the time to and two I would eventually forget. Just like my thigh piece, I don't think anyone with the exception of five people have seen it simply because I forgot to show it.
My parents met Jody. My mom smiled at him the whole time. I believe that means she likes him, and went on to invite him to fourth of july and tell him he was always welcome in their house. Good deal. I'm so into this boy. I also have the best ipod ever thanks to him.
oh yeah there is also this I've been posting around
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[24 May 2009|05:33am] |
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I have a really bad cough.
That's why I am at my house, and still awake at 5:30 am. I wish I was at the boys, but only without this cough thing.
I want to loose 5-10 pounds again. That won't happen if I keep having to eat these cough drops.
I'm glad I like stopped being a bitch. I don't know why I cared about things so much. Granted sometimes people were jerks, but I was the biggest jerk.
This time last year I lived in Philly. Kind of the best and worst thing ever rolled into one.
Last week this dude stole my pay at the shop. Like went into my bag, unzipped my wallet, took my money then left the envelope. That's not even the worse part. A few gays ago the same dude ends up stealing a bunch of stuff from my bosses apartment. They caught the dude, and from what I hear everything but one thing was returned. Hopefully it all gets returned. I hate when people steal. Especially from someone you know who is nice to you? Really?
My body hurts from this cough. It's such a bad cough but there is no cough medicine. Dear Cough, please go away or at least get less serious so I can sleep next to my boyfriend.
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[15 May 2009|08:19pm] |
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Everyone is meeting Jody and I like the turn out. And now I have better stories than before, even though my stories before were nice.
Hooley is back and that makes me happy. I'm so proud of her for graduating. She seems to like the people I've been around and they like her.
I finally saw my cousin and Brit for the first time in like a month. I'm so bad at keeping in touch. I hope they come around more.
Even when I'm in a little cranky mood the boy puts on the songs I like to cheer me up. Such good deal.
My brakes are shot. No way dude.
All in all fantastic deal.
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[23 Apr 2009|01:25am] |
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Life is good.
I haven't been home all week cause I've been over this rocket scientist's aka Jody's house
I swear he's one of the best things ever. If it doesn't work out, I have no hard feelings against it because everything is so great.
Tonight was my first trip to the pennant. If you have really bad star tattoos I suggest you go there, you will fit right in. I don't know anyone with really bad star tattoos so it all works out.
I kind of went against my no boy thing. But honestly I wasn't expecting all this good deal.
Douche chills.
That's pretty much it for now. Hoolz gave me this wood rock or whatevz and it's been working for good luck fantastically. I hope I don't jynx it by saying that. I'll write more after alkaline trio happens.
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[31 Mar 2009|09:23pm] |
Lately I've been trying to be less butthurt about everything. I still care about certain things, but other things..Ehh just not worth getting bothered over.
I got this strong opinion thing from my mom, but more times than not it just makes me look stupid. My mom tried telling me that carbs make you sleepy. I told her I don't think that's how it works, considering track people "carb up". She kept telling me she was right. I really don't want to end up like that, hah. My mom is butthurt. I love my mom, but she is such a bitch. She knows how to make people feel awkward and she'll do it. Sometimes I love her because she is a bitch, and opinionated..but most of the time I want to say knock it off.
Butthurt is also one of my new favorite words.
I got more days at work. At least until September.
I say I, I'd, and I've way too much.
I need to save up for a vaction. Hooray tax money!
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[21 Mar 2009|03:24am] |
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It didn't work out. I guess there are some things i just can't get over. We actually broke up like a month ago but have been trying to fix it. I think I mentioned something along those lines. Last week we just couldn't do it anymore.
One door closes, three doors open. I am getting the second chance to take someone out to lunch.
Next month I'm going to see Alkaline trio. I missed them the last two times.
My insomnia is back. I only fall asleep an hour at time.
I missed being around friends so much.
I picked up more hours at the shop this week. I don't know if it's permanent.
I feel like I'm insane for making things I really want happen. Somehow it's working. I just can't be around someone who's suffocating and won't let me be me. Who doesn't want me to have friends because he's afraid they'll turn me against them. I know better than this. I think I always end up in these situations because I like feeling needed. Unfortunately a lot the boys I pick are too needy. I have dated boys that have been independent, but then a needy boy would come along and make me think "hmm this person seems to need me more than so and so" I hope I never end up in this cycle again. I'm a jerk.
PS: Created on 2001-12-01 20:43:13 (#405754), last updated 2009-03-21
1,484 comments received, 1,431 comments posted
Damn, I've put almost 8 years into this livejournal. & in my first entry I was listening to leftover crack.
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[26 Jan 2009|07:52am] |
Both the boy and I have been awfully sick.
I have been sick for a week, and he got it about 4 days ago. We've been trying to take care of each other but since we are running around and not resting this bad cold keeps staying.
over this past week I've become completely addicted to animal crossing for my ds. Ryan saw my addiction, so he bought a copy for his wii. He texted me telling me he caught 10 football fish. We are such dorkuses.
his birthday is in one month from today. I tried making reservations at this sushi place for his birthday. However I don't know if they take reservations cause I called them up and they were super mean about calling without ordering. Mmm cucumber rolls. I've been craving that and hot sauce. Cheese fries with hot sauce. Rice with sriracha. mmm hot sauce!
Also with being sick I like green apple bubble tea. Not the latte kind, just the tea kind. And since you can get them at the deptford mall, life is easier.
wtf am I talking about. All food. We don't have hot sauce, or cheese fries, or bubble tea in the house.
anyway my boyfriend's birthday is in one month. He want's a hori playstation arcade stick. I think I'm going to throw in a few more things like a bottle of sriracha that I may be able to use sometimes, anddd it's always sunny, or step brothers, or the rocker...some of the movies he wanted to see but never did, and I don't think I could go wrong with it's always sunny. I'll see what kind of money I have.
Since I'm talking about food, you may be able to tell nothing out of the ordinary happened this week. Ryan and I were contagious so we haven't really been around people except for each other.
Did I mention I can't drive until the end of Feb.? I miss it so much, and I miss listening to my music. Ryan and I don't really listen to the same music, and when we like the same band he doesn't let me listen to the songs I like because he doesn't like them. I'm not allowing him to touch my ipod in my car ever again..When I get my car back. I'm very thankful my boyfriend picks me up to hang out, but I've been through too much metallica without any median of songs I like. Especially since I picked out stuff I knew he would like as well as me in my car. I've never been with someone whose music taste was so much more different than mine. He tries to convince me it's not. I can't listen to the video game techno stuff, or just one song on a good cd he will play over and over and over. I'm venting cause he can't read this. I fucking hate metallica and van halen and all this cheesy metal. God damn.
off subject again. I need to go back to sleep!
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[27 Nov 2008|07:16am] |
Happy Thanksgiving!
I had my first, and hopefully last seizure at gamestop, where Ryan works.
it was so scarry, I was so confused, and everything that happenned during, and about a half hour after the seizure I thought was a dream.
I was visiting Ryan at his gamestop job, for the first time. Ryan and Bryant were the only ones in there. They didn't see me fall but they saw me flopping on the floor. Luckily Bryant's girlfriend is also a nurse so he called her and they called the paramedics.
I didn't knock anything over, but I fell down and hit my head on the carpet. So I have this weird rug burn bruise. My shoes also flew off, which I found a little funny. I felt my shoes fly off. I feel so bad for Ryan cause if that happenned to hiim I would be freaking out and yelling and causing a more stressful environment.
My mom came and took me to the ER Ryan came too. I had a cat scan, and blood work. I have to go to a neurologist and I can't drive until I do so. If I were to have a seizure while driving it would be taken as the same seriousness as drunk driving.
What they said happened was I hadn't taken my one medicine in 5 days. I ran out. The withdrawls of this medicine are seizure, and I knew that but I didn't really pay attention. Now on the other hand I am taking another medicine, that you are not supposed to take if you have seizures because it lowers your brain seizure threshold. So there was like a perfect seizure storm in my brain.
I feel different, like in a better thankful mood. I don't want to fight anything anymore.
However I am thankful for my mom, and Ryan staying there with me all day yesterday. Ryan and I watched kids shows. And I'm thankful for everyone in my family that wished me better. I haven't really told any of my friends. I don't know which ones I want to tell other than ones I've known for a long time, which in case is pointed here. I told my friend Britt, cause we were supposed to hang out. I'm thankful for Bryant and his girlfriend. I'm thankful I didn't knock anything over, or get a black eye. I'm thankful my parents aren't arguing, but they are laughing. I'm thankful for my awesome eyebrows. I'm thankful for my stuffed animal collection, and my green laptop. I'm thankful to everyone I knew and helped me get here. I'm thankful for all the kindness people have given to me, I want to return it all, and I will.
Hey Hooley Lady, I really want to see you still even thought I can't drive. I will most defiantly find a way to see you<33
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[24 Nov 2008|09:01am] |
It's been a very long time since I posted.
I moved out of Philly at the end of August.
I have paid citizens bank about $500 in late fees. DO NOT GO THERE.
Still with Ryan. It's been tough, especially during August and October, but we are some how still standing.
I've grown to hate pills, and what they turn people into.
so much has happened but I never know how to word it.
I wrote a super long entry on the 19th, but I ended up keeping it private for personal reasons.
I went to the video game expo and all the nerds made me really sick. One of the girls I was working with took really good care of me, until I was okay to drive home. I spent the morning yesterday sweating out a fever. I've been up today since 4 am. I'm having bad sleeping problems. It may be my breathing.
okay, byee.
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[25 Jun 2008|12:22pm] |
I like to think I landed
While I do need to work on my communication skills, I think that life has me going in the right direction.
I start my job today.
I live on my own, with four boys but it's still fun.
I had to leave because of my brother. Him stealing my meds all the time made me sick. My parents not doing anything to help him just made me pissed. Him walking all over my parents made me angry. I was tied to my room. I do the same here, but I can't hear yelling or my brother treating my parents like shit and him getting glorified.
the boy and I have our differences but we work things out. I know he's scared of not being able to pay bills and not being able to get his job. I tell him everything is okay, and even when it doesn't feel okay, it really is.
SG has a new reality show coming out on vh-1. Something like america's next top sg. Let me tell you how thrilled I am about that. Oh you can't judge sarcasm on a computer screen. But come onnn. I guess money is money.
My parents say they are well. They held a graduation party for my brother. Ryan's parents came and my parents met his. It was nice.
I'm going to play video games. bye
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[22 Feb 2008|12:49am] |
recent mix tape for my 1992 mazda protoge tape player:
brand new - you won't know
the hold steady - you can make him like you
elliott smith - bottle up and explode
deftones - be quiet and drive
blink 182 - wendy clear
alkaline trio - enjoy your day
elliott smith - pitseleh
modest mouse - the ocean breathes salty
alkaline trio - my little needle
placebo - meds
goo goo dolls - long way down
smoking popes - before i'm gone
brand new - deguasser
alkaline trio - cringe
smoking popes - no more smiles
elliott smith - the biggest lie
placebo - been smoking too long
none of it goes together. but I've always been like that
ramble ramble ramble
( Read more... )
i'm excited for bonnaroo, i asked the boy i like to go and he was like heck yes. i also asked hoolz a couple weeks ago. i hope she still wants to go.
3 weeks until i'm 21, and in jamaica.
it started snowing, and i was supposed to do laundry, but i did this instead.
i saw the lunar eclipse. space geek<333
i may have lunch with crystal tomorrow, which would be fun because i'm tired of eating ez-mac....so tired. then there is work, followed by boy and trisha and ink...then who knows, hopefully something fun...ohh and i hope i'm not snowed in.
ehh soooo much to say, not so much interest. bye
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[19 Feb 2008|02:51am] |
Ehh my stomach is in my chest.
I'm so afraid of boys thanks to that db boy. Why'd it take me so long to figure out he was two-faced. I knew it was revenge, it had to be, but no it was me talking crazy and we would get back together when the time was right. That night he looked into my eyes and lied to me. knowing that makes me more upset than any other lie he could of told me. I'm so stupid, he had a girlfriend. I don't do that, but he was leaving her. If it was anyone else I would of never let him kiss me... for old times sake. After that night we agreed to meet up more, twice a month. We never met up, and it took me two weeks to tell someone this happened. Then he ignored that. The only and last time we met up he didn't look in my eyes once. So what is this getting to?
Since this whole thing I waited around for him. He just kept saying when the time was right. when I found out he changed his mind I decided I didn't want to date anyone, I didn't want to be close with anyone that was a boy.
But then you feel close to someone, and have fun with someone, that just smiles when they know they are going to see you and you smile just because. And yet you are so afraid of them because they also have the power to look in your eyes and lie. What if he just tells me what I want to hear? Just like the first one. At the same time its not fair to think about these things because this boy is a totally different person.
I want to be over this. But it's still messing with my head.
So this boy and I will go slow, he knows about the mess that the one person left in my head.
Maybe soon I'll be over this. I want to erase the past three years of my life. I guess I can't be that big of a stoner if I let this shit get to me.
Other than that fuck anit-sg. They annoy me and screw things up for me.
SG Philly night was packed, Karma knows how to throw a party. We raised $480 for the philadelphia animal welfare society. Saw alot of pretty ladies and "almost famous" acquaintances(haha highlight!), drank my water, and tried to mingle as my socially awkward self. I'm a wonderful DD. Dawn, Abby, and I had a sleep-over and then Abby shot me in the morning. They are such fun ladies.
Saturday was party night at Tasha's house. I rocked that place like it was 1973. I have sooo many bruises on my legs, it makes me feel like I'm a little kid.
I can't wait to go to jamaica. Less than a month away. And being 21? I don't really care about that, I'll just be happy to get into places.
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[03 Feb 2008|02:14am] |
I'm super bored.
I've been hanging out at tasha's apartment. Trisha is there now too so it's good deal. I clean there and take the puppy on a walks.
There was another roommate....well not so much, she didn't pay rent and bitched about how she didn't want to live there. She was inconsiderate and I don't like that very much. She needs to go get her stuff, like everything. The only response my friends got from her was a myspace bulletin being sarcastic about how friends are great.
Ryan has deleted me because he doesn't want his girlfriend to see this. I refused to delete the last entry. All I have to say is that if he doesn't want his girlfriend to see he kissed me, he shouldn't of kissed me in the first place. I think I'm more pissed at the fact I knew that he was like this. He'll tell you one thing, then tell everyone else something other. It's gotten me in trouble. I told my mom everything about Ryan these past months since he's been home. She no longer wants to take him out to dinner...Or for me to get back together with him. I also feel like an asshole, because I told all my friends that don't know Ryan about what he told me what was going to happen. When people asked about boys I said I was waiting. I'm so dumb. and He's a DB.
HIM? what?
shoot wednesday
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mindlessactions's journal
dorky
